Bubble Bath
by Jade the Sith
Summary: (Songfic) More short humor story goodness. Xizor in the bath. Result of no sleep. Enjoy!


Summary: Songfic. Xizor in the bathtub. Scary, isn't it?  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Xizor and Guri belong to Steve Perry, and Star Wars belongs to George Lucas. The Rubber Ducky song belongs to Sesame Street . . . I think. I really have no idea who wrote it, but whoever did, kudos to them!  
  
Authoress's Notes: This was based off a mention of Xizor in the bathtub, from a fic, which, unfortunately, I can't remember. Oh well . . . it got processed into my twisted humor.  
  
I don't think this scene has been written in Shadows of the Empire, but I'm really not sure, considering I haven't read it in a while. Please consider this slight AU (different scene) or whatever.  
  
It was one AM when I wrote this. Excuse the insanity.  
  
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Bubble Bath  
  
The leader of Black Sun, Prince Xizor, enjoyed his baths immensely. Some say he enjoyed them too much, but he was Falleen and the race particularly enjoyed the water and it was one of Xizor's favorite pastimes. Many times, females of all races joined him in his pleasurable pastime.  
  
But when not . . .  
  
Rubber Ducky, you're the one  
  
Silently, Xizor undid the tie to his robe and let it pool at his feet. He walked up the small steps to his welcoming bathtub, which Guri had prepared for him, per his orders. He sank into the hot water, letting out a sigh of relaxation.  
  
You make bathtime lots of fun  
  
Paddling around his large tub, Xizor suddenly looked around and noticed something--something very important--was missing.  
  
"Guri!" he called.  
  
In moments, the attractive, blonde droid stepped into the room and bowed. "Master?"  
  
His eyes shifted around slightly in displeasure.  
  
"Where is my rubber ducky?"  
  
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you  
  
Guri bowed once more. "At once, my master," she replied, and exited the room once more, sighing in a human-like nature to herself. Prince Xizor really had never gotten over his rubber ducky. It was his true weakness, but Guri obeyed her master and snatched his rubber ducky from the bathtub accoutrements shelf.  
  
Woo woo be doo  
  
At the sight of Guri and his rubber ducky, Xizor smiled. Stretching his hand to receive his toy, he brushed fingers with Guri and grabbed the duck greedily, squeezing him gently.  
  
Rubber Ducky, joy of joys, When I squeeze you, you make noise!  
  
Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true!  
  
"Thank you, Guri," Xizor replied, with a dignified nod. "That will be all."  
  
Guri gave a small bow once more and departed, leaving Xizor and his rubber ducky in peace.  
  
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo  
  
Squeezing bubble bath mixture into his tub, Black Sun's revered (though not so much if any saw him in these conditions) leader, began stirring the mixture around. Activating the jets, the blue glob of bubble bath liquid began to foam, making large bubbles.  
  
The dark prince let loose an appreciative chuckle and set his rubber ducky on the side of the tub while he delicately began placing bubbles on his almost bald head.  
  
Every day when I  
  
Make my way to the tubby  
  
In a minute or two, his creation was finished, and on his head was an un- canny, bubble-made replica of Vader's helmet.  
  
Mocking Vader's heavy breathing, Xizor lifted his ducky again. "What do you think?" he questioned, and pressing the rubber ducky again he smiled. "Yes, much more flattering on me then him. I agree."  
  
I find a little fella who's Cute and yellow and chubby  
  
Abruptly, Xizor's bathside comm began chirping. Sighing in irritation, Xizor activated the comm.  
  
"Yes?" he questioned tiredly, desperately wishing he could get back to his bath and rubber ducky.  
  
"I'm sorry to bother you, Master," came Guri's cool voice through the comm. "But it seems we have located more information on Luke Skywalker. Lieutenant Pikii would like to report to you. Are you presentable?"  
  
Xizor looked down at his entirely bubble encrusted form, hiding his nude body from view. "Yes, Guri," he replied. "Send him in."  
  
Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!  
  
Quickly doing away with his Vader helmet, Xizor drummed his fingers impatiently, waiting for the lieutenant.  
  
He stepped in a moment later, his shock evident. Very few who worked under Xizor's command apparently saw him like this, and Pikii wasn't sure to be honored or . . . appalled.  
  
"Yes, Lieutenant?" Xizor drawled.  
  
Pikii cleared his throat and stood up straight. "Uh, yes sir! It seems we have located the information you wished to know about Skywalker."  
  
"Continue."  
  
"It appears he is headed for the Tatooine system, to rescue Han Solo no doubt."  
  
"And what do you think we shall do about this, Lieutenant?" The prince asked.  
  
The man of medium height straightened a little at the unexpected question. "Well, um, sir," he began. "I think we should have a rendezvous waiting for him on, erm, Tatooine."  
  
Shockingly, Xizor lifted what-yes, yes, it was a rubber ducky-to his face. The Black Sun's head compressed the duck and it made a squeaky sound.  
  
"Yes," Xizor continued, facing Pikii again. "Ducky is correct. He'll be there far longer before we can set up a trap."  
  
Rubber Ducky, you're so fine And I'm lucky that you're mine Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.  
  
"Um, good point, um, sir."  
  
Xizor nodded again. "What else do you suggest?"  
  
"Well, um, we can wait till he leaves Tatooine and ambush him then."  
  
"Hmm, ducky?" Squeak, squeak "Yes, I think so too."  
  
Every day when I Make my way to the tubby I find a little fella who's  
  
Cute and yellow and chubby  
  
"Continue with your second plan, Lieutenant," Xizor replied.  
  
"Um, yes, sir," Pikii stuttered awkwardly and bowed quickly, before exiting as soon as he could.  
  
Xizor faced his duck once more. "A strange man."  
  
Squeak, squeak.  
  
"I concur." And with that, Xizor dunked his head under the bubbles.  
  
Rubber Ducky, you're so fine And I'm lucky that you're mine Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of - Rubber ducky, I'd like a whole pond of - Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you!  
  
Doo doo, be doo  
  
~Fin~  
  
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Congrats! You made it to the end. Reviews: I love them to death. Flames: They will be stared at and deleted. Hysterical laughter shall immediately follow. 


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